Working Moms: Can We Really Have a Slice of the Cake?

Balancing motherhood and a career is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to navigate. How do you find peace with your child being in after-school care all week long? How do we raise our children when we’re working until 5 PM? What’s the trade-off, and where do we find the balance?

Personally, I’ve been struggling with this notion. As a mother, every few months brings a new stage of change—just when you think you’ve figured it out, everything shifts again. When my daughter was a baby, I had the privilege of being with her until she was about one year old. At the time, I ran a boutique business with my mom, and she was with me at the store. It was a unique experience—I had flexibility, I wasn’t separated from her, and I didn’t feel the stress that many working mothers do. But as things slowed down, it was time to close my business. When I did, I felt a sense of identity loss but kept pushing forward.

I transitioned to a part-time job, set up daycare, and before I knew it, she was in kindergarten. I had the opportunity to continue in my role as a salaried employee, but that meant committing to full-time after-school care. The first couple of years were okay—first and second grade were manageable. I worked my 8 AM–4 PM schedule, picked her up, and life seemed to flow. She had social interaction, and there wasn’t much homework.

Then, change hit. My daughter started 3rd grade, and we had homework and assignments. In addition, my employer announced that my two remote workdays would be eliminated at the start of the new year. I had been working full-time, but those two remote days made a significant difference. They allowed me to have breakfast with her, avoid the stress of commuting, those two days kept me balanced.

January rolled around, and suddenly, I was in the office five days a week. Mornings became chaotic, commutes were draining, and I found myself exhausted, arriving home around 5:30 or 6 PM every night. That’s when it hit me—I wasn’t the one raising her after school. The people at the after-school program were. I was tired and drained, delivering the same work but feeling like everything had changed.

I had to make a choice. I proposed going part-time, knowing it meant losing benefits, paid time off, and holiday pay. It was approved, but with conditions. I had to prove I could do five days’ worth of work in three.

Now, almost a year in, I’m doing it. But it’s been hard. I count every minute, hour, and penny when I get my paycheck. I struggle mentally because this isn’t what I envisioned. I hold a bachelor’s degree in business, have 20+ years of HR experience, an entrepreneurial spirit, and a problem-solving mindset. I want to work. I want to contribute.

So, I’m turning to you—my friends, my social media community. How do you do it? How do you navigate this space? I have one child, and already, the demands of schoolwork and responsibilities are increasing. I know it will only get more complex as she grows.

Someone once told me, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Maybe that’s true if you’re trying to have it all. But I’m not asking for the whole cake—I just want a slice. A slice that allows me to be present with my daughter while also thriving in my career.

If you’ve found ways to make it work, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk about how to carve out that slice and truly enjoy it.